You know you're been on the REZ too long...... WHEN:
Unknown Author

1. You start to recognize individual head of livestock and give them names.
2. You mourn road-kill dogs like they were close friends.
3. Your idea of a great place to go out to dinner on your first date is the snack bar at the Conoco gas station in Many Farms, AZ.
4. Every day seems like every other day.
5. You don't mind driving to McDonald's for breakfast, even though it's 60 miles away in Window Rock.
6. You can tell the difference between dogs barking at cattle, dogs barking at horses, and dogs barking at things that go bump in the night.
7. Your pick-up truck has a "Fry Bread Power" or "Got Fry Bread?" bumper sticker.
8. You think that BBQ sheep entrails make a great bed time snack.
9. You notice that everything for sale in the grocery store is stale dated and/or the rebate offers expired four years ago.
10. You come to accept that an appointment on "Monday at 3:00 PM" means "Some time this week. Or maybe next week." (See #4, above.)
11. You can discern the type of grazing land by the taste of the mutton.
12. You wait until it goes on sale to buy your monthly supply of Spam.
13. You know which roads are the most dangerous for running over horses and cows. (And when you know who Don Yellow is because he runs over more livestock than anyone else.)
14. You can find your way around even though there are no street or road signs or house numbers.
15. Everybody knows who you are. And what you're doing. And how much money you have in your pocket. And who you're dating. And what kind of beer is hidden in your closet.
16. You know NOT to go to the store on "payday" (when the social security and general assistance checks come out).
17. You stop pointing with your index finger and start pointing with your lips.
18. You know (and use) the Navajo "mating call."
19. You come to accept that traffic jams at rush hour are due to herds of livestock crossing the highway. You know that livestock have the right-of-way.
20. You avoid having emergencies or injuries because "Emergency Responses" by the police and ambulance services take at least two hours and could take Longer on paydays.
21. You no longer consider it "quaint" or "unusual" when you see someone ride up to the trading post on a horse to collect their mail.
22. You know where all the potholes, washouts, quicksand pits, and washboards are in the roads.
23. You know where "Batman" the 230 pound billy-goat lives and avoid him.
24. You think that a Spam and fried potato burrito is a good choice for brunch.
25. You'll drive 38 miles to see the only mailbox on the side of the road in an area of 5,600 square miles.
26. You spot a single hogan who has posted a "Neighborhood Watch" sign and the nearest neighbor is ten miles away.
27. Your new name is "Sh'ew!" and you find out a lot of people have that name. (Roughly the Navajo equivalent of "hey, you.")
28. You go to a sweat lodge and know what that little piece of string is for.
29. You take your lunch break at the local flea market.
30. No work gets done because it's another Tribal holiday (not Columbus Day).
31. Your name appears in the "credit" book at the trading post.
32. You no longer consider yourself a "full blooded Indian" after donating at the blood bank.
33. You believe a Pow-wow was originated by the Navajo.
34. You no longer fear going to hell when you die because Kit Carson and George Custer are there and they won't let Indians or sympathizers in.
35. You hang eagle feathers from your rear-view mirror to ward off the evil resulting from a coyote crossing the road in front of you.
36. You say you're "going to town" and everybody knows you're driving to Gallup, NM, 95 miles away on a two lane road.
37. You want a Navajo Cadillac; a late model one-ton capacity king-cab pick-up truck of any kind with dual rear wheels, a fifth-wheel hitch, and three bales of hay in the back.
38. You do your own haircuts.
39. You hear Ben Begay in the a conversation, it is not about rubbing cream on your sore muscles.

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